Pfizer, Inc. is seeking a dedicated, enthusiastic healthcare professional to work full-time hours on social media, demonizing those who question the safety and effectiveness of the company’s products. The ideal candidate will have a medical degree approved by Pfizer, along with previous experience vilifying users in an online environment. We offer a competitive salary and benefits package, including the opportunity to quit your job practicing actual medicine.
In this exciting remote position, you will work under our Director of Public Ridicule to tear down large numbers of independent researchers, naturopaths, stay-at-home moms, and other threats to the company’s bottom line. Daily responsibilities include name-calling and labeling, creating smear campaigns, and leading a team of medical attack officers to gang up against the target population.
This is a senior-level cyberbully position with potential for growth into an even more destructive role.
Qualifications:
Basic medical training at a university funded by Pfizer
8+ years in public shaming and/or ridicule
Ability to mock alternative health practitioners at a grade school level or above
Working knowledge of X, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Tik Tok, and other social humiliation platforms
Up-to-date on the latest industry taunts, including “Hey, anti-vaxxers…”
Comfortable following a script and using our auto-debunker tool to quickly debunk claims made by critics of Big Pharma
Strong adherence to company guidelines, and a willingness to trust our Science
To Apply:
Please email paidshills@pfizer.com with your resume, cover letter, and an online portfolio showcasing some of your best anti-vax roasts and put-downs. Only serious medical trash talkers will be considered.
Pfizer, Inc. is an Unequal Opportunity Employer that discriminates on the basis of medical beliefs and vaccination status.