Wondering what’s in store for the world of television after The Great Reset? You’re in for a treat! From State-sponsored competitions to extreme global makeovers, here’s a sneak peak at some very real TV shows slated for 2030:
Survivor: Home Edition
Produced by CBS and The World Economic Forum
Get ready for a Survivor like none other! This exciting reboot of the world’s longest-running reality series won’t be set on a far-away, exotic island. Instead, contestants will be filmed right at home as they endure life in a 15-minute smart city. Watch as ordinary human beings, just like you, are forced to eat bugs, navigate a high-tech surveillance jungle, and survive on a universal basic income of $500 per month.
The Bachelor: Global Elite
Produced by ABC and The Bilderberg Group
Ever dreamed of marrying a globalist? The newest bachelor is wealthier and more powerful than you can imagine. He’s looking for one lucky woman to help him depopulate the Earth and rule over the remaining “useless singles.” If you’re a psychopathic female with a fetish for world domination, this could be the opportunity for you. Casting for the 2030 season has already begun. Get in line now for a chance to secure your spot in the New World!
Dancing With Sars
Produced by ABC and the CDC
In this less glamorous version of “Dancing with the Stars,” fourteen fully boosted celebrities with long COVID symptoms will attempt to make it through their ballroom routines without collapsing. ABC is working closely with the CDC to create a detailed set of guidelines for the series. Judges have agreed to end all of their critiques with the words, “but it would have been worse if you weren’t vaccinated.”
Artificial Idol (A.I.)
Produced by Disney and OpenAI
Got raw, natural talent? Then this competition is not for you! In the upcoming installment of Idol, judges will be looking for a manufactured pop star –– literally. The show will feature artificially talented vocalists from around the world as they vie for the coveted title of “Artificial Idol.” Contestants will begin their journey as simple voice bots and, with the help of engineers, gradually transform into multi-platinum recording androids. You can expect few surprises here as producers plan to pick a winner before the show starts and program the entire series accordingly.
The X Factor
Produced by Elon Musk
Do you live and breathe ‘X’? Can you post 100 tweets a day while rolling over like a dog? If the answer is yes, then you could be a contestant on Elon Musk’s ‘X Factor’! The tech mogul has acquired the rights to the franchise created by Simon Cowell, and now he plans to make it all his own. Musk is looking for a special online talent, worthy of receiving a gold check mark on their profile. In order to win the prize, contestants must be willing to give everything, including their souls, to X, The Everything App.
Shark Bank
Produced by ABC and The U.S. Federal Reserve
Who will go under next? In this suspense-driven reality series, hundreds of small banks will face elimination by the world’s most powerful financial predator: The Shark Bank. Tune in each week as bank after bank gets swallowed up—until only one remains…
State Property Brothers
Produced by HGTV and The U.S. Department of Housing
Exciting changes are coming to Property Brothers on HGTV! The show’s producers have announced plans to replace the current stars – Jonathan and Drew Scott – with a new set of twins who work for the federal government. Instead of re-designing couples’ homes, they’ll be seizing them under State law. The series will follow the two comrades as they pay visits to ordinary, hard-working Americans and relieve them of the burden of private ownership. Watch the brothers make inspections, issue notices, enforce court orders, and send families packing!
The Biggest Loser
Produced by BlackRock Entertainment
Are you a loser? Yes, you are! A panel of billionaire judges will look down on the masses and decide who among the 99% is the biggest loser. Individuals will be measured and mocked based on a range of criteria, including social status, career achievements, home size, wardrobe, and net worth (if any). The “winner” of the contest will be flown second-class to Davos, Switzerland, where they will be greeted with roaring laughter from a live audience.
In Survivor Home Edition, will they have a hamster wheel that each person will run on to earn their daily porn rations?
Dancing with symptoms can't end well but is certain to entertain. Not a drama in real life but a drama in real death.
State property brothers gotta make room for those undocumented migrants (um) to have a nice place to live after that long direct flight from whereverthehell on Earth. Just use the um app. Biden will have a phone waiting for you with instructions regarding when they will be collecting your vote.
The biggest loser judges should be locked in a room of mirrors. They can take spike shots to get hints on the path out. Those three judges only show us their daytime teeth. When they put the nighttime teeth in place it is time to play in their private dungeons. Then they eat children and drink their essence.